OpenMinds

Child in Pink Tying

  A couple weeks ago, a parent picked up his children from our Kensington camp. His son had been working hard for the last hour on a drawing project, designing his name in block letters. When his father walked in the door, the boy hurriedly tried to put his final touches on his artwork before getting signed out and leaving camp. As he worked, his father leaned over the boy’s shoulder – and what do you suppose he said? “That’s pretty good, son. If you had moved those letters over, you would even have been able to fit them all on the paper!” The boy just nodded and kept working, seemingly oblivious to his fathers words. But their meaning was not lost on me.  “Your son has been working so hard on this art project?  You must not know how challenging it can be for a young child to write their name in block letters. See how proud he is of what he created?” These are all the things I thought and wished I could say to the child’s Dad – but of  course, I didn’t. Instead, I made it a point to applaud the heart behind this student’s drawing – his creativity, his perseverance and the thoughtful planning he put into it – before he left for home. 

 
The next week, a similar thing happened at one of my after school art classes. A parent picked up and looked at his daughter’s piece of art. His first question was, “What is it?” After she explained, he replied, “Oh, I see. That’s kinda cool.” Again, I was struck by the lack of appreciation for what this 8 year old girl had been working on for the past 45 minutes. 
 
It got me to thinking about how we speak to our children and appreciate the things that they make. When parents pick up their son or daughter from a camp or after school class, and are confronted with the phrase, “Mom, Dad – look what I made!,” the response is so significant. Rather than simply asking, “What is it?” it would open up a greater conversation to say, “Tell me about your creation!” Instead of using words like “pretty good” or “kinda cool,” it is so encouraging to a child to hear you choose something specific that you like about their artwork and name it. It could be the way they used their imagination, or the attention they paid to small details, or how patient they were as they worked. This kind of language helps make the appreciation all about the student, rather than what they have made. It is no longer about the art, but about their heart behind it – their work ethic, their creativity, their determination – all things that our children deserve to be proud of.
 
So the next time you pick up your child from a camp or after school class, consider what you will say when they hand you a piece of artwork. Think of the time and efforts they put into designing this final product. Allow them to share the thoughts that inspired them to create this drawing, painting, sculpture – whatever it is! And be sure to applaud the child behind the art, instead of the art itself. After all, that’s really what it’s all about